Wow! A talking monkey!

Even when I was young and impressionable and stupid, I didn't dislike Reagan as much as I dislike Bush the Younger. Throughout his press conference tonight he was hesitant, stammering and pausing and using "Uh" rather more often than I'd like the leader of the free world to.

QUESTION: Thank you, Mr. President.

In the last campaign, you were asked a question about the biggest mistake you'd made in your life, and you used to like to joke that it was trading Sammy Sosa.

You've looked back before 9-11 for what mistakes might have been made. After 9-11, what would your biggest mistake be, would you say, and what lessons have learned from it?

BUSH: I wish you'd have given me this written question ahead of time so I could plan for it.

John, I'm sure historians will look back and say, gosh, he could've done it better this way or that way. You know, I just -- I'm sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of this press conference, with all the pressure of trying to come up with answer, but it hadn't yet.

I would've gone into Afghanistan the way we went into Afghanistan. Even knowing what I know today about the stockpiles of weapons, I still would've called upon the world to deal with Saddam Hussein.


See, I'm of the belief that we'll find out the truth on the weapons. That's why we sent up the independent commission. I look forward to hearing the truth as to exactly where they are. They could still be there. They could be hidden, like the 50 tons of mustard gas in a turkey farm.

You'll note that he not only stumbles badly in his reply, and chastises the reporter for not giving him a chance to prepare a canned answer, he also backpedals about the lack of WMD. First he says "Even knowing what I know today about the stockpiles of weapons"; he then reverses himself with "They could still be there."

Here, though, he completely sidesteps a question that should have a simple answer, and an answer that Americans should know; the reporter asks it twice, and he provides the same non sequitur twice:

QUESTION: Mr. President, why are you and the vice president insisting on appearing together before the 9-11 commission? And, Mr. President, who will we be handing the Iraqi government over to on June 30th?

BUSH: We'll find that out soon. That's what Mr. Brahimi is doing. He's figuring out the nature of the entity we'll be handing sovereignty over.

And, secondly, because the 9-11 commission wants to ask us questions, that's why we're meeting. And I look forward to meeting with them and answering their questions.

QUESTION: (OFF-MIKE) I was asking why you're appearing together, rather than separately, which was their request.

BUSH: Because it's a good chance for both of us to answer questions that the 9-11 commission is looking forward to asking us. And I'm looking forward to answering them.

Let's see. Hold on for a minute. Let's see. Oh, Jim.

It boggles the mind that the "liberal" media didn't pick up on this, or on the inappropriate humor, or his weirdly angry scolding of war widows. I can only wait until Jon Stewart comes back from vacation.

The full text can be found here. (The Times edited out all the ums and ahs.)