Bee and Leaf
Mar. 20th, 2004 06:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jere7myI had an awful rejection dream this morning. Someone--a composite of various women I know, some of whom I'm interested in, some not--had come over to my sprawling loft apartment for dinner and a date. I'd made some complicated dish with long-grain rice and chicken breasts and wine blended into the sauce; I'd lit long red tapers on the table, turned the TV to something romantic. (Don't ask me; it was a dream.) It was intense, sultry, expectant; my heart was thudding. Just as we were about to sit down to dinner, her cell phone rang; some contra dancer named Paul had decided to have a dance get-together at his house. "I really like his dances," she explained as she packed up her purse, and of course she didn't mean dances. "I'll be back in a few hours," she promised, sitting on my lap, pressing against me before she left. I woke up as I was sitting there, waiting for her to return...and then spent an hour trying to fall back asleep so I would be there when she returned. I felt I'd missed an opportunity, even if it were a phantasmal one.
But it was difficult to maintain any feeling of loss in the 53 degree sunshine that waited for me outside. I saw a little girl dressed as a bee, weaving across people's lawns while her sisters and parents walked along the sidewalk; I saw a tree-care truck with a logo on the door written in Tolkien's runic alphabet. (Translating upon my arrival home, I found it said "LEAF".) Weather like this reminds me of my body; the wind and sun tell me that there is a good side to being wrapped in sensitive skin, and makes me look forward to pretty girls in sun dresses and tank tops. Hence my current mood.
I had an excellent and informative AIM conversation with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
flammifera last night; I can see how it could be dangerously addictive. And we had our first thunderstorm of the year just as I was going to bed. The flashes were visible through my closed lids, and the comforting booms of thunder rolled over me as an afterthought.
But it was difficult to maintain any feeling of loss in the 53 degree sunshine that waited for me outside. I saw a little girl dressed as a bee, weaving across people's lawns while her sisters and parents walked along the sidewalk; I saw a tree-care truck with a logo on the door written in Tolkien's runic alphabet. (Translating upon my arrival home, I found it said "LEAF".) Weather like this reminds me of my body; the wind and sun tell me that there is a good side to being wrapped in sensitive skin, and makes me look forward to pretty girls in sun dresses and tank tops. Hence my current mood.
I had an excellent and informative AIM conversation with
flammifera last night; I can see how it could be dangerously addictive. And we had our first thunderstorm of the year just as I was going to bed. The flashes were visible through my closed lids, and the comforting booms of thunder rolled over me as an afterthought.
