Today's adventure in hypnopompia

There was suddenly something in the corner, something like a skinned seal. It wheezed, glistened, flopped painfully forward. I leapt out of bed, and it was gone — oh, thank God. I'd been dreaming.

Then from downstairs: a moan, a throaty rising whine. It came again, and again, pulsing. I ran downstairs, my heart hammering. Was it invisible? If it was downstairs...if it found the cat....

I ran into the kitchen. My wife was there, grinding coffee beans in her coffee grinder, looking at me quizzically. "Yes?" she asked.

That naughty little Dutch boy

This blog is rated PG-13, according to this little adverblurg.

Why? "This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words: dike (3x), crack (1x)."