Peeing in the punch bowl

[jere7my]

Several of my friends have linked to, or contributed to, this post. It invites people to claim their awesomeness, and begins:

Too often we put ourselves down. Too often we think we are useless, not good enough, less than perfect and thus less than acceptable. Too often we demur praise, or will not praise ourselves. Often we outright hate ourselves, and much of the dominant media and various cultures around us are determined to make us feel as bad as possible, usually so that we will buy things.

In the comments to this post, I cordially invite you to tell me why you are awesome.

Damn straight, say I. Good points, say I. Well said, say I.

Except the post is only addressed to, and open to, women.

"Gosh," I said. "That's unnecessarily divisive!" And it didn't need to be — the post would have been just as strong, just as awesome, without the exclusivity. It's my assumption (and I admit that I am making an unfounded assumption here) that the author is operating under the widely held belief that women are disproportionately affected by irrational low self-esteem, à la impostor syndrome, and are therefore more in need of spaces to proclaim their accomplishments. That, of course, is common knowledge — I've seen several people repeat it in connection to this post — which happens to be false:

Early on, this phenomenon was associated with women, a belief that persists today. But subsequent studies, including another by Clance [who first described impostor syndrome], have shown that men are affected in equal numbers. [link to highly worthwhile Science article]

Men are just as likely to feel like frauds, to downplay or disbelieve their own achievements, to suffer from irrational low self-esteem. Everything in the post I quoted above applies equally well to men and women. Posts like Claim Your Awesome contribute to the idea that it's a women's problem — okay, maybe some men feel that way sometimes, but it's not systemic, it's not legitimate — when in fact it's a people problem. We put on blinders when we draw a box around it and call it a "feminist" issue or a "women's" issue — which means we look in the wrong places for solutions, place the blame in the wrong places, and that hurts men and women alike. Men, by typically being taciturn about their emotional needs, contribute to the idea as well, and that leads to a vicious cycle.

I would be hard pressed to finish the sentence "I am awesome because...." I don't suffer from impostor syndrome, but that's only because I have no role I could imagine myself to be fraudulent in. I don't have a career; I'm an unsuccessful writer; my physical flaws are numerous; I just turned thirty-eight; and I am more than half convinced that I have wasted my life.

None of that counts, because I have a dick.

#

(That said, the comments section of the Wikipedia article on impostor syndrome includes this line: "I feel like I'm only pretending to edit Wikipedia right now, like inwardly I'm not a Wikipedian." I am awesome because I am the sort of person who would close a self-pitying post like this with an observation of an awesome line like that.)

Comments

[crystalpyramid]

Men are just as likely to feel like frauds, to downplay or disbelieve their own achievements, to suffer from irrational low self-esteem.

Sorry to be a bitch about this. But you keep saying this, and I'd really like a citation that actually says this. Even the Science article, while saying it's not just a women's thing, both fails to cite a source, and mostly in fact talks about women.

Even "equal numbers" is vague. Equal numbers of men, given that there are more men than women in academia/"successful" careers, implying a lower rate among men? Or at equal rates?

[crystalpyramid]

Please note that I'm not trying to say that some men don't also have this problem — I know plenty who seem to. All my original addendum was meant to be was a note that that thread was intended for women.

[jere7my.livejournal.com]

Again, the Science article says, "But subsequent studies, including another by Clance, have shown that men are affected in equal numbers." Presumably there is a citation somewhere that says (Clance, >1978), but I'm not going to go dig it up. I'm sure Lucas Laursen would reply to an email. I've linked to an article in Science, and haven't yet seen any links to anything that contradicts it (beyond appeals to common knowledge). I feel that's sufficient to make my point.

[jere7my.livejournal.com]

Sorry — the last sentence should read "I've linked to an article in motherfuckin' Science."

[crystalpyramid]

Conceded. Poking around the internet, it does look like most of the research is about how to cope with impostor syndrome, rather than about which particular demographics are more entitled to it. But maybe that's where it ought to be.