Entermation

[jere7my]

It's like infotainment, but three times better!

This site is far too much fun. It invents products. For instance:

• jere7my is a fax machine! It sticks to the skin!
  
• LiveJournal is a hearing aid that's made of glass!
  
• Kendra is a credit card that anticipates your every move! It keeps your teeth clean.
  
• shelkesem is a video recorder that kills all known germs dead, jumps like a frog and improves upper-body muscle.
  
• showergrrl is a featureless cube that increases your sex appeal and recharges itself at night.
  
• flammifera is a business card that's completely reversible and vibrates.

I make no comments.

---

K. and I ate at a Chinese restaurant between Pinewoods and NYC that gave us chopsticks. Not only were the chopstick instructions in Engrish, but they had been scanned by a crappy text recognition program. Thus:

• Tuk under thur nb and held firmly
  
• Add second chcostick
  
• Hold tirst chopstick in originai position

---

I bought one of those hefty-man box-strapping tape dispensers to aid in packing. The instructions open with a warning, which I reproduce here in full:

! CAUTION
• To reduce the risk associated with a sharp edge, which if not avoided, may result in minor or moderate injury:
- Avoid contact with sharp blade.

(Needless to say, I suffered a minor or moderate injury within minutes of opening the package.)

Comments

[god-of-belac.livejournal.com]

That site is great! It's like your own game of The Bigger Idea.

Sorry to hear about your minor or moderate injury.

[thoroughbass.livejournal.com]

You are brilliant, with your 'text-recognition program' -- I had always assumed that the chopstick instructions had been hand-typeset by somebody who was used to making compound characters out of different pictographical elements, which is one way to print Chinese (such as by putting an 'r'-shape and an 'n'-shape together to make an 'm'-shape). But this hypothesis of mine basically requires the text being set by rather archaic visual methods, like transfers or letterpress. I will keep you posted if I ever find a definite story behind the elusive Thurnb.

[gannet.livejournal.com]

That Caution! makes me think of one somebody told me about, in which the instructions which came with a portable iron (for use while travelling) warned the user not to press clothing while wearing it.